Bloggin Bloggin Bloggin

So, this is actually my third blog. I have foresaken the other two blogs for this one.

My first blog was very private, no one has ever read that blog besides me to my knowledge, and no one really knew that it exisisted. It was really for me to get a lot of my thoughts out, sometimes a lot of my immature or simply private thoughts that I needed to think over. Thats what I love about writing. When I write I always get further and deeper into my thoughts then I can in any other way. The answer seems clearer, or the situation seems easier to handle. Its not just writing down words, it can also be writing music(which I have done way too little of lately).

I am considering allowing people to read this blog. But I'm not sure yet.

This year has been a very interesting year for me. Its been almost a full year since things began to really change. September began a new semester, and in that new semester I lost a lot and gained a lot as well. I'm trying not to be too specific haha. January 09 rolled around and I delved deeper into my band Lux Astra, started new classes, and by February I fell into the most complicated situation I have ever been in. In a way, it should never have been so complicated, and in a way it may not be so complicated at all. It certainly felt that way. I'm probably lucky that this is the way I find myself so confused, its easy to be confused over girl(which what this situation was over). I had never seen myself so vulnerable, and I'm not sure I ever will be again. Although, I can see myself there again.

Being vulnerable is something I hate. I love being in control, or atleast feeling in control. I'm sure we probably all hate being vulnerable, however, we are all there at some point. Its lame. I know that I never keep on one thought for too long so forgive me. But yeah, I have spent semesters working anywhere from 40-60 hours a week while staying on the deans list, and that was easier then this past semester where all I did was work about 12 hours a week with 4.5 classes and worry about 22 of 24 hours in the day. Over thinking things this past semester is what ruined me. Taking notes, not possible, tests, nah, nothing but thinking about this girl and where everything was going. Oddly enough, I'm still confused. Not like then however. Luckily. Long story short, shes cool, things are good and my life is good so I'm complaining anymore.

I started a new job which I like a lot, been chinchillin, sometimes I drink what I like to call Alcoholic Drinks, sometimes I play music, sometimes I drive around and think about how I need more CD's to drive around and listen to. I probably won't blog all that often, I blog when I need to think things over, or when I have something on my mind that I feel is worth writing down.

Ok bored of writing, later.